Brick Lane - Strictly my viewpoint

I recently finished reading Brick Lane girl, by Monica Ali. The book is about a young Muslim girl Nazneen, from Bangladesh who gets married (at the age of 18) to an older man (around 36) and moves to London. Its a completely new life for her there and a new set of challenges and trials to face. Its a story about her acceptance of her fate, coming to terms with her life, the circumstances that lead her to change the way she is and for the first time make her stand up and take a decision for herself.
I felt that the book was a little slow paced and could not really capture my interest. For most part of the book Nazneen is the main protagonist but in the background and the shadow of the other characters (her husband, children, the doctor and the other ladies). I did not find any of the other characters interesting (maybe her sister a little bit) nor intriguing.
But Nazneen's character was quite interesting, she comes across as an intelligent observer. She is someone who remains in the background, lets people do most of the talking (whether its her husband on his literary trip or Mrs Islam crying on her never-ending illness). She reflects most of her intelligence in her observations of people and understanding/analysis of their behaviour and character. Its quite amazing how she never really complains about her life and husband to anyone. She just accepts everything.
But as you accept this quite docile creature and assume that her life would go on like this till the end.....in comes a sewing machine (!!!!) and of course the life changing Karim. This is when you realise Nazneen's strength as a woman, as the one who can take up charge of the house, earn a living for her household if the need be. You realise she has been quiet not due to lack of talent or the ability but just because that was the need of the hour probably. Finally she realises her dream, what her life is all about and what she and her children really need. The end is a bit surprising, but not at all disappointing (at least for me).
All in all, a decent read. Not very highly recommended but yes you can read it. The book has a lot more to offer in terms of the life of the Bangladeshis and their issues in London and also about religion. There is also a parallel story of her sister Hasina (through the letters she writes) and her mother. But what spoke to me most in the book is what I have written about.

Marriages.....cause for changes?

Marriages translate into a lot of changes (from what I have personally experienced and observed). You share your life with someone and with that come a lot of lifestyle changes. As if your own relatives are not enough, you get tagged with so many more others. God only knows how will be ever able to remember all of them :).

But these changes are something which come gradually and are very much acceptable. These are the kind of compromised and adjustments that happen with friends and roomies also. And they happen from both sides, so its ok.

The kind of change that bothers me a lot, is the drastic change that one partner goes through while the other just refuses to be a part of it. If you have watched SATC, I am talking about what Charlotte did. She was ready to give up her beliefs and her complete religion to convert and be with the man she loved. He refused to marry any girl unless she was a Jew, so Charlotte goes through all the pain of changing herself. I also remember a conversation in office about a colleagues cousin and his fiancee, where the fiancee was ready to have a Christian wedding but the groom refused to even come if there was a Hindu ceremony. And the lady was still ok to go ahead with the marriage and spend her life with that man.

The point being, while I understand that in love you make a lot of compromises,adjustments, etc etc; but changing your whole value system, beliefs, religion and everything you have grown up to be! Especially when the other person does not reciprocate the same (yes we are humans and give&take works everywhere and with everyone), is it really something that will last long? And does this whole change that you go through represent strength of character or weakness of your character?? For me its a very very easy foundatoin for any fight....I did this for you what did you do....

And giving up so much might be easy for sometime, but what about the long run. How do you go about bringing about your children and what do you teach them? Your old beliefs, new beliefs, someone else's beliefs.....

Do you have any answers..........

This one is for you guys.....

We were all of 18 (or maybe +/- 1), full of energy, youth and energy. There was the fear of the unknown but at the same time the there was the willingness to explore unchartered territories and take life full on!!
Most of us were out-of-home for the first time and naturally and extremely homesick. Some of us were very brave and some of us broke down very easily. We looked out around at everyone trying ot find the one person or persons whose kind face would probably bring us some relief or show some signs of empathy. Getting used to the seniors, the hostel food, the queues for the baths, etc was pretty new and harrowing. Every phone call from home was eagerly awaited, and every minute spent on it was probably the best part of the day.
Time passed by and we got accustomed to this new life. From the time when going home was a source of endless joy and coming back a not so nice experience, we reached a point when both journeys were looked forward to by the same enthu. We reached a stage when we missed each other when we went home and looked forward to receiveing letters (yes we used snail mail during that time!) and phone calls. In fact I still have those letters, and boy do I treasure them.
We became best friends, inseparable groups, who shared all their highs and lows of life, all our crushes and loves and hates, our dreams and nightmares. We knew each other inside out and we could not ever imagine knowing anyone any better.
We had changed...from the girls who cried when they first came to hostels to the girls who cried their hearts out when it was time to leave. Life without each other was not something that we had been prepared for. College taught us a lot of things, but not the pain of separation. Who could imagine life without midnight maggis, gossip sessions, dinners and lnches, midnight birthdays shopping, cooking, laughing together, crying, taking care, being taken care of.........and so many other things!!
We all came to college hoping for a good career and a successful life thereafter. Little did we know that whether or not we got that; we would definitely find a set of lifelong friends, who would stand by us forever. College taught us the value of friendship and the true meaning of being a friend!
Thank you SVR. And thank you very much all of you.....I do not know if I miss you more or love you more..!!!!!